Wishing.

We wish but sometimes we don't get what we wish for
I have wished for so many things
I notice that God is not trying to make my wishes come true
I believe he has a reason why he's not making them happen
Maybe what I wish for is not good for me
He knows what's best for me and I don't
So I will let him do what's right for me
When you go through pain you will always be rewarded at the end
I went through pain of loving you
I suffered everyday thinking about you
Sometimes I wonder if you think of me as I'm thing of you.
I wish and wish and nothing comes
I wonder when will it finally come to reality
All I do is dream about things we did together
Sometimes I wonder if you remember them
I use to always say I want to fall in love
But now that I am I want the old me back
because the love I'm in is not worth anything
How do you fall in love with a person that doesn't love you back
I just wish I could understand who you are because as of now
I have no idea who I'm dealing with
I'm I playing with fire or is fire burning me without knowing
I want nothing but you but if you don't want me why I'm I wasting my lovely time
I have been giving a chance to live longer than others but,
I am not using it right, I need to start using my time the way I'm supposed to
I have been wasting my time thinking of you
Wondering what it is about you that just makes me wanna be with you
I love you unconditionally and will always love you.

Brave or pretending?

                                 
why in the world can't you face the truth? You're lying to yourself big time you might not realize it now but I guarantee you it will hit you sooner or later. my part is I have help by sticking around and making sure you were making the right decisions but unfortunate you don't really care which upset me about you. You're the type that just do to "FIT" but sometimes you can't try on pants that's not your size because they will fall off or they will refused to go up and they can also embarrass you in front of others so I tell you my dear be careful. So its on you to pick one and live with IT. we are not getting any younger we are growing and part of growing is taking chances, making changes, and making choices that are right for you. some times I wonder if you know what is out there, what could go wrong. The attention we go for are always bad because people before us had their experiences they will give us attention just to mess us up but we fall for it thinking they love us or care about us. I just want to let you know that the GOOD is here and the will always run after you and the GOOD will not give up what so ever just thank the GOOD for being here because without the GOOD you will not be happy so run on until you hit your head against the wall and when that happens turn around and the GOOD will be standing right by your side and that's when you will know that this GOOD is a GOOD for real.

CONFUSION.

You and I are different people, I believe we're confused. There will be that one day you will make me understand you and I will also make you understand me. I know we all want things that we think are good for us but listening to what you said made me think twice about you. Why do you want something that you won't find? I know you can't answer this but hope you think about it. The best thing a human being can do is to sit down and realize that they will not be living forever so take every chance you get in life if you choose please choose wisely because this world doesn't come with a PERFECT PACKAGE. You either try your best to make it perfect or deal with it without trying. 

Change!

I see the change I was surprised myself I have never thought that you would become that person I wanted you to become one day but I'm glad and happy for you. You're the sweetest person I have ever met in my life I have learned so much from you Good and Bad I have leaned them and thankful to have an amazing person like you in my life. I know we been through so much but it's okay lets just leave those days behind and may they rest I'm just looking forward to the future right now because you deserve good even though you done bad.

Loving someone.

Loving someone that treats you like you're not a human being is a very good thing. Well, I know you guys are like "what are you talking about" but it's true. Let me say if you like or love someone let them know because it's better for them to know then not. When you don't let the person know how you feel I grantee you, you will have bad dreams about him/her. The dreams are telling you "express your feelings today because that person might not be here tomorrow". I have had the worst dream ever i cried for days just because of that dream and guess what I talked to someone I love and trust about it and she helped me find a way to figure out what the dream was about. I felt like the dream was telling me even though you know that person done wrong to you just forgive them even though you wanted them to apologize to you just go ahead and talk to them. So if you dream good or bad about a person try your best to talk to them about it. Since i talked to that person i have never had a bad dream about that person which was a good thing because the dream that i had would be the last thing i want for that person. So, what i know is people will always act so if they act like they don't care that doesn't mean they don't care they have a reason why they're acting like that.

Thoughts!

So today I thought about calling you, I have no idea why that thought came in mind. It's been a very long time since we have talked I would say I really miss you but how do i know you miss me? I look on my phone everyday looking at your number sometimes wanted to press the send but then i remove my thumb. I promise to you that you took control over me there is no day i go with out talking about you. Your pictures are saved on my computer for some reason I don't know. I reread our old conversations and think damn what happened. They said people change but I promise you changed big time. You're the type that never say how they feel about a person and I'm the type just bust out everything  you and I are two different people in all kinds of ways. If i could rewind i would take it back and delete the person who mess this one up for you and I, I have already did my part so it's time for you to man up and do yours. I really don't get why things are going like this for you and I, I understand life is crazy but sometime you have to battle it and make yourself happy. I am a happy person but not complete I'm incomplete because you're not with me if i had you then i will be happy and complete I just hope one day you realize everything and act like a man because you have never acted like one. I would say your name at the end of my writing but there is no need to if you read this you might know who you are.

P.S. I really miss you and hope things will go back to how they were!

My country!

We sit here and say we're proud

We tell others we are southern Sudanese

We never take the time to think of our actions

We have a lot of chances to change our future

But we don't use the chances that we're given

How do we expect to be free and we're not acting

Actions speak louder than words

You say you're proud don't tell me 

Show your people for the sake of your country

Sudan you're a very kind country

Your kindness have been great to us

I hope that you will heal from all the abuses

I hope that you will sit back and relax 

May we all come to one agreement

And thats to divide you into two