Change!

I see the change I was surprised myself I have never thought that you would become that person I wanted you to become one day but I'm glad and happy for you. You're the sweetest person I have ever met in my life I have learned so much from you Good and Bad I have leaned them and thankful to have an amazing person like you in my life. I know we been through so much but it's okay lets just leave those days behind and may they rest I'm just looking forward to the future right now because you deserve good even though you done bad.

Loving someone.

Loving someone that treats you like you're not a human being is a very good thing. Well, I know you guys are like "what are you talking about" but it's true. Let me say if you like or love someone let them know because it's better for them to know then not. When you don't let the person know how you feel I grantee you, you will have bad dreams about him/her. The dreams are telling you "express your feelings today because that person might not be here tomorrow". I have had the worst dream ever i cried for days just because of that dream and guess what I talked to someone I love and trust about it and she helped me find a way to figure out what the dream was about. I felt like the dream was telling me even though you know that person done wrong to you just forgive them even though you wanted them to apologize to you just go ahead and talk to them. So if you dream good or bad about a person try your best to talk to them about it. Since i talked to that person i have never had a bad dream about that person which was a good thing because the dream that i had would be the last thing i want for that person. So, what i know is people will always act so if they act like they don't care that doesn't mean they don't care they have a reason why they're acting like that.

Thoughts!

So today I thought about calling you, I have no idea why that thought came in mind. It's been a very long time since we have talked I would say I really miss you but how do i know you miss me? I look on my phone everyday looking at your number sometimes wanted to press the send but then i remove my thumb. I promise to you that you took control over me there is no day i go with out talking about you. Your pictures are saved on my computer for some reason I don't know. I reread our old conversations and think damn what happened. They said people change but I promise you changed big time. You're the type that never say how they feel about a person and I'm the type just bust out everything  you and I are two different people in all kinds of ways. If i could rewind i would take it back and delete the person who mess this one up for you and I, I have already did my part so it's time for you to man up and do yours. I really don't get why things are going like this for you and I, I understand life is crazy but sometime you have to battle it and make yourself happy. I am a happy person but not complete I'm incomplete because you're not with me if i had you then i will be happy and complete I just hope one day you realize everything and act like a man because you have never acted like one. I would say your name at the end of my writing but there is no need to if you read this you might know who you are.

P.S. I really miss you and hope things will go back to how they were!

My country!

We sit here and say we're proud

We tell others we are southern Sudanese

We never take the time to think of our actions

We have a lot of chances to change our future

But we don't use the chances that we're given

How do we expect to be free and we're not acting

Actions speak louder than words

You say you're proud don't tell me 

Show your people for the sake of your country

Sudan you're a very kind country

Your kindness have been great to us

I hope that you will heal from all the abuses

I hope that you will sit back and relax 

May we all come to one agreement

And thats to divide you into two  

WHY

Why does it have to be this way?

Why can't we just walk out?

How come we don't have no trust?

How come we act like we're okay?

Why are our hearts so secret?

Why can't we just forget about people?

When I came here i came alone

Why do i have to worry about them

Their opinions don't matter

If you worrying about them

You will lose your life

They do it for the sake of themselves

I sit lonely and watch the sun go down

Thinking one day they will feel sorry

I have pain that no one can get me out of but him

But him does not bother

I feel like him is scared

But what are you scared of huh

Is it HER that you're afraid of

They said we can change the world

I believe if you act you will change my world

They said "patient is a good thing"

I don't know if i believe in it any more

I love yall but you guys do not care

What kind of people are you guys

I don't see why yall don't feel someone's pain

You guys made me feel this way but yet

You guys don't realize it. How come?

I show love no respond

I sit quiet no respond

My question is what should I do

Patient is not working for me

Should I just go and do any crazy thing?

Where will that take me?

When you want something so bad

You can't always get it. but why?

I will continue being patient

For a little while but after that things will go my way

If that will help then i have to do that

I'M OUT!

I saw him

So I saw this guy and I thought he was so HOT
I tried my best to talk to him, well I did
He was sweet and everything but i had a problem
I couldn't continue talking to him because I think...
I still like this other dude... I know it's very hard
But He's the one I wanted to be with 
I didn't want to waste my time well his time too
So I had to let it go even though he is HOT 
They said "Don't look for LOVE in faces and places"
But yet I still do, life comes with a lot that you don't want
But you have to go through them because it's part of living
I understand giving and taking CHANCES is a great thing
I still can't take the chance of faking that I'm happy
When I'm not even near it 
I just hope people will understand how much you love them
To be honest i have never felt like this in my whole life
I just don't get the reason why I'm feeling like this
Sometimes I ask myself and people how does love feel?
But you don't fall in love for no reason 
They said "LOVE is when you think about one person constantly"
Well I think about this one dude all the times does that mean I'm in love?
Not sure because we had noting going but we just know each other
Never did anything to make me fall in love with him
I don't get love but I will love to fall and know the feelings
If I can do anything right now I will try to get that dude by my side
He's amazing, cute, polite, and outgoing just what I want
Well If its meant to happen then it will but if not then I guess not

He

He's the one that called me names

He's the one that hurt me

He's the one who said mean things about me

He's the one who is ashamed of me

And I sit here talking about HIM

It's all about HE! HE! HE! to my friends

Are you serious, was I sleeping this whole time?

If I was then thank God I'm awake

There is someone who loves me

He will do what ever to take care of me

I just now realized everything you have done to me

I am the nicest girl but yet you don't see it

Calling me a "thing" are you serious, how dare you?

To be honest with you i regret everything 

But i also blame everything on me 

If I didn't fall for your stupidity things would've been great

You lucky you had me but I'm ashamed you did

You don't deserve me at all not even a little

Heard you said "what would I do with that?"

Let me tell you something whether you deny it or not

I did not fall for you, I did not care about you

You came looking for me 

But my DUMB ASS thought you were real

You're nothing but an asswhole 

You're nothing but a hypocrite

You're nothing but a lameo 

You're nothing but a disrespectful lil dude

You call yourself a "player" right

Well you might of played them all 

But honey you did not play me and deep down you know that


So keep your fake words to yourself 

You don't know how bad I wish i never met you

You were too sweet but turned into a dush 

You may find someone to call you names

You may find someone to be a shame of you

You may find someone to say mean things about you

You may find someone to hurt you

Then you will know what you did to me

I gave you nothing but love 


People like you never appreciated the good 


they will say what ever to get the other


Thank God i don't have to worry about you anymore


You know why I'm moving to something better


Great life Sir.

Nieraw you're an amazing person

You're very nice but people take advantage of that
You're the sweetest thing alive but people don't understand that
You and I go way back way before this country 
I just hate how people mistreat you 
Since you're nice and it's rear for you to say "NO"
People will ways take advantage of that 
You get no help when you need it but you give help when they need it
What a cruel world we live in 
People never appreciate you but don't worry i will always do
You been here for me when I was hurt 
You the one that used to always call me and see if my heart is okay
You the one who always tells me to forget about him
I was stupid to not listen to you
But i thank you for listening to my words
It was all about him him him and now its all about me
You change everything i used to think of 
I thought i was in love until you told me "wake up"
So I did and i found out that i wasn't
Even though i still do it now it's not like how i use to 
I thank God for letting you to be here for me when i was hurt
Your kindness is amazing 
You're beautiful from the outside to inside
I must tell you for get about that one person who hurt you
You need a KING that will appreciate you not a loser that will careless for you
You deserve much more than this, a QUEEN shall find a KING 
That will take care of her, move on with your life and find someone that will care 
This wold has so many buys that are RESPECTFUL and CARE
I just wanted to say that I love you unconstitutionally my dear 
You're an amazing person to have in one's life
You're my cousin and also a friend i can count on
A friend that will never turn me down 
May you be happy soon 
May you have where you can call home
May you find who you have been looking for all your life
May your dreams come true 
I LOVE YOU SISTER

Pain you put my heart through

I sit here with my heart in pieces 

Acting as if everything is "OKAY" with me

You hurt me and I reward you

How long will we be like how we are?

I have nothing but love and you have nothing but hate

Deep down in my heart you're not who you say you are

I may tell you to change but you will ask me this question

"Who are you to tell me I needed to change?"

I could answer your question but there is no need to

Since you claim to be someone you're not

I will take the blame for everything 

For letting things go the way they went 

If i didn't agree to what you said then 

My heart was never going to be broken as it is right now

Well, I never had love for you but you made me love you

I have never thought of it this way but you made me believe

I swear i think of you every day and God knows 

I talk about you to my friends 

One of my friends once said

"Regina you're stupid" and now i know what she meant 

Why have a secret heart when you know you will not be living for long

We all have amount of time to live 

I lost my teenage years because of you

My time have been wasted by you

But hey I will not be the little girl you knew 

I am now a grown young lady who knows whats best for her

I can't be treated like crap any more

I be came smarter than I was 

Every time you look into my eyes i see this amazing person

Who has so much to give but afraid to 

Sometimes you have to take a never taken path

That's how people grow to be better people

I will not say I will love you for ever but I will until good comes my way

I hope you realize that you will be losing the best thing

I LOVE YOU!

The one I love

if it wasn't you, where will i be?
if it wasn't you, what will i have?
I am thankful to have you in my life
you gave me everything i wanted
you took care of me when i was little
you loved me unconditionally and you still love me
i know deep down that you still love me
you are the best grandmother a   young girl like me would ask for
my life was perfect when you were here with me
but now the distance have brought us apart
I am lonely everyday in my room
I have no one to talk to when you were the one I used to communicate with
everyone has turn on me right when you went back to Sudan
I think of you everyday, I know you're worried about me
but all i can tell you is don't worry about me
just take care of yourself and hopefully I will see you soon
I know you will proud of me that I am going to college
you once said "education is your mother,father, and husband"
I will do what you said and continue my education
I miss you so much sometimes i wish you can come back now
but since you can't all i can do is talk about you and think of you
I don't know why you had to leave me here
I feel like I am alone no one loves me
my own family have turn against me
I cry day and night wishing you were here to sweet talk me
when ever you talk to me I always feel better
I am here alone! alone! alone!
Remember when i used to wake up in the middle of the night
I wake you up and tell you I'm scared can sleep with you
sometimes you say NO! because you wanted me to get use to sleeping alone
I also remember this question I asked you
"what will I do without you"
you told me about education again
you said "just focus on school and you will be fine"
I know you used to cry with me when ever they treated me unfair
you know who they are i will keep the names to myself
I will always Love you until you come back to me
I hope you are having much fun with the people back home
YOU'RE THE BEST GRANDMOTHER EVER

College!

I am beyond excited about college but I'm scared at the same time my friend told me not to be scared but i still am. well let me clarify that I'm not scared of the school work but scared that i will fall for everything, there is really no need of explaining what i mean because you guys should automatically know. I don't want to get hurt that is what i'm afraid of . college life is right around the corner for me and i think about it every day since i got the message from the school telling me i should come in and start my dorm room stuff. Sometimes i ask myself  "what I'm I doing"? I kind of know what I'm doing, I'm trying to better myself at all kinds of levels. i hope things will go well for me even though I'm scared of being hurt. Moving on with my life is what i have in mind but the fear is holding me back, maybe when I'm on my own i will do everything the way i want and when ever i make mistakes i will always learn from them.

Regina Akej

It's all about Jane

"ALL EARS"

Where do i start with this girl? well let me just say what ever i got to say about her (the good of course).
It's funny how we met, when i first saw her i was like ummm this girl is crazy even though i thought i was. We became friends in a way we got closer when we went to high school together i was a freshmen and she was a senior. we skipped classes together, never apart in the hallways, and we got in trouble together. from that point it was just about Her and I we didn't care what people would say, we tell each other "as long as it's not true lets not worry about it". Jane and I have regrets but as we always say "It is what it is" let me just say the summer of 2009 was the worse summer ever but we made it through. We talk about everything pretty much she tells me what i got to hear and i do the same. She's the only girl that is just here for me no matter what the situation is well that is not the only reason why i care about her, I care about her because she's an amazing person who has a great personality and beautiful from the outside and the inside. It's hard to find someone that is that real people are all fake i mean she is not PERFECT because no one is, but she hasn't done any wrong to me and I am very thankful to have her and call her my bestfriend. I cry on her arms, i ask when i needed help, call when I am hurt, and i tell what my heart want me to tell her and she's always there to help or listen. I can sit here all day writing about her and i will not run out of words to say about her but these are just little stuff i have to say about her for right now.

It's all you honey                                                  :)                                        Me love you                         

let

let it be first and not last that you look into my eyes
And say things that you never said before
let me be who i want to be
let me find who i am
let me go find trouble
And hopefully that trouble will let me know i have done wrong
let me claim who i want to claim
let me be fake if thats what you want to call me
let me be ugly if thats what you think of me
let me be dirty if thats what comes in your mind 
let me wild out and may i know i am
let me say i love you if i really do
let me kiss you if i feel like i want to
let me change you because i believe i can
let me get a chance if it's possible
let me take you where you never been before
let me rock your world as they say
You and I will never, they say never say never
But i may say NEVER  in this case you and i will never be apart
You may part me but i will never part you
I will not stop until i get what i want.
I may be crazy but isn't that what I'm know for
I shall not let what made me who I am fade away
You made me who i am that is why i want you, 
Because of you my life have changed 
Because of you i feel pretty 
let it be first and not last that i say this to you. 


Regina akej

As I

As I sit here and wonder, where will life take us after this? where will we be? many of us believe that they will be in heaven but the question hit us back like this. Have we done what we're supposed to do on earth? sometimes I ask my self...self whats the point of us on earth but I never answer myself because I don't know the answer to that question. We all want to look nice in front of our friends but where will that take you, to be honest NO WHERE I myself should take this as well. We all want to be perfect we may or can act like we are but at the end of the day NO ONE IS PERFECT. Most of us think that they're the most perfect people in this world you know what we call those people HYPOCRITES because there is no such thing as "I'm perfect" well that is just what i had in mind just had to let it out.
thanks for reading!
Regina Akej

you think loving you is easy?

You think loving you is easy? you think me doing things i shouldn't be doing to get you is easy? if you thought so then you thought wrong. I believe i have wasted my time in some BULL, i wish i have never known you.I really wish I had someone to guide me to the right path but unfortunately I'm an UNLUCKY person. I do what i can just to make you happy but all you do is return it to me in a mean way. I'm sorry but i think i have to leave you alone because I don't think you're worth anything but wasting my time. Some times i wonder if you really know that you be hurting people's feelings just because your feelings were never hurt don't mean you got to hurt mine you're full of it and i can't put up with it. At the end of the day call me crazy but I still LOVE YOU i really don't think i will get over you but everything will be great at the end because everything has an ending .